my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
