just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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