It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
