i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
