Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
