I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
