Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
