I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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