I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
