i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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