Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
