Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
