Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Actions speak louder than pants.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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