I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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