problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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