Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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