What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
