Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
