That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
