worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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