I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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