Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
