That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
