its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
