Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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