Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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