So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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