i think my tv is drunk
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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