Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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