try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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