Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
