This is not my ceiling
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I need to calm my uterus...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
