Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
