Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
