I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
