Fuck appropriateness.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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