Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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