You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
