Well apparently he's into motor boating.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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