i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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