i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
