Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
