"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
