Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
