fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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