Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
