I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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