Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
