p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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