im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
